Health

‘It’s been 11 Years and I Miss my Mommy’ – Breast Cancer, Loss & Grief

NASSAU, BAHAMAS – Breast cancer is a disease that not only affects those diagnosed with the disease, but their entire support system.

Published

2 years ago

October 21, 2022

Jhanae Winter

NASSAU, BAHAMAS – Breast cancer is a disease that not only affects those diagnosed with the disease, but their entire support system.

The same was true for Kaynell Gould, whose mother, Rowena Greene, affectionately called “Mother Greene”, passed away from the cancerous disease.

Dealing With Cancer

In 2001, was when Mother Greene first became aware of the cancer in her body. She sought a consultation at a holistic clinic when she felt that her health was out of balance. That’s where she learned that she had breast cancer, and it was just the beginning of her battle with the disease.

However, unbeknown to her family especially her daughter, the cancer was left untreated and unattended for nearly six years.

By early 2007 the cancerous tumor had spread, rupturing Mother Greene’s breast tissue walls and growing to the size of her breast. It demanded her attention.

The first clinic visit with her mother, Kaynell looked face-to-face with the tumor that was sucking the life from her mother daily.

“It was there that I saw this massive, ugly, grotesque looking thing hanging from my mother’s chest. That’s when I understood and saw for the first time the devastation of cancer on the human body,” Gould said.

The only thought going through her mind at the time was, “How did it get to this point?”

She recounted moments when her mother asked her to pick up gauges and cotton on several occasions. Kaynell realized back then, her mother asked for those things to cover up the tumor and stuff her bra.

Perhaps her mother wanted to protect her from the emotional side of the fight against cancer. Kaynell’s grandmother also suffered from breast cancer, and the family was there with her.

No longer able to hide the cancerous tumor, Mother Greene still wanted to take a holistic approach to healing. She tried hot and cold shock treatments designed to shrink the tumor, but the treatments took a toll on her body.

“I remember one day I was trying to reach my mum and she would not answer the phone. I was so worried I couldn’t wait to get off from work. When I went to the house I found her laid out across the bed like she was lifeless. Her body was detoxing and she had soiled up everything,” Kaynell said.

She spent the remainder of the day cleaning up after her mother. The next day Mother Greene looked at Gould and said, “I can’t do this anymore Kaynell.”

She decided it was time to see a doctor.

When Dr. Locksley Munroe finally saw Mother Greene, she says she saw the confusion, worry and frustration on his face as he examined her breast.

They went back to the Doctor’s office and he made a phone call to Princess Margaret Hospital to get her into surgery as soon as possible.

In the time since her last checkup, Mother Greene’s tumor had grown more intricate and pervasive, coming dangerously close to her heart.

What Happened Next

After her surgery, Mother Greene saw a turn around. She refused to take chemotherapy, radiation or any other form of treatment. Kaynell said her mother told the doctors, “I only have one daughter and I am not putting her through that.”

Everything was fine for about a year and a half. But by mid-2008, Kaynell noticed her mother began walking with a limp.

Kaynell saw her mother stub her toe on a table, and how that sent her into abnormal excruciating pain.

“I wanted to cry, I never saw her in so much pain from hitting her toe.”

Mother Greene did not want to see a doctor at the time, but that changed a few weeks later when Kaynell got a phone call that her mother had fallen and had to be taken to the hospital.

When Kaynell arrived, she met her mother in severe pain. She knew her mother’s body would be put to the test yet again.

The cancer had weakened Mother Greene’s bones, and her pelvic bone had broken. Kaynell stood at her mother’s side as the doctor worked to set her leg.

Final Weeks

Kaynell’s mother used both a walker and wheelchair after her procedure, but became bedridden in her final weeks. As her mother’s only daughter, Kaynell became her primary caretaker.

She helped her mother take baths on the days when the pain was manageable. Kaynell would wheel her mother to the bathtub, allowing the water to wash over her for 30 minutes.

“Thank you Kaynell, you don’t understand how good that felt, to have water on me and be clean,” her mother told her.

Every day, Gould would ask her mother how the pain.

She recalled asking her mother how she felt one final time, but on her last day, Mother Greene had no pain at all.

“Mommy how you feeling today”, she asked. “I feel good, Kaynell I feel at peace,” Mother Greene answered as her head turn to look out the window.

Kaynell new something was different about March 20th, 2009. She remembered the call she got from her daughter, letting her know that Mother Greene wasn’t breathing.

She still had to see it for herself. When Kaynell arrived at her mother’s house , she broke down at her mother’s side, weeping.

Kaynell said she will never forget the feeling of losing her mother.